"Raise Hell, Eat Cornbread"
Well, that's certainly a combo that we haven't heard of before! I guess if you do enough hell raising, you'll work up a real appetite.
And let's be honest--where else but a pickup truck would you see a bumper sticker like this? Hopefully they're doing more cornbread eating than hell raising.
To Honk or Not to Honk
"Honk if a Kid Falls Out. Thanks."
Letting your kids fall out of the car isn't going to win you parent of the year anytime soon, but at least these people have a plan for when the worst happens.
We imagine that if you need a warning like this on your car, your kids are probably pretty rowdy. Let's just hope they fall out at a stoplight!
"Honk if you'd rather be watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz."
Hopefully no one rear ended these people trying to read this entire bumper sticker!
This is not something we thought we'd ever see on a bumper sticker, but now that you mention it, yes, I would rather be watching The Mummy. It truly is a forgotten gem of the 1990s.
The Truth Hurts
"Cool Minivan! --Nobody"
So this is definitely one way to tell that someone hates their minivan! At least they've got a sense of humor about it.
If these people are like the average minivan owner, we imagine that they probably traded the flashy cars of their youth when kids started cropping up and they needed something practical. Who can blame them? We'd hate that too!
Under the Sea
It looks like the Little Mermaid finally bought herself a car. That, or a Disney mega-fan couldn't resist the temptation of making this Ursula-rific pun.
Credit where credit is due--this is a great pun. But we can't imagine being old enough to have our own car and using it to tell the world we're still into Disney.
High Def Driving
Obviously it's not a real HDMI port, but now that this bumper sticker has pointed it out, we can't unsee it.
Or who knows? Maybe this is the real thing. Cars come with so many ridiculous features these days that an HDMI port doesn't seem that crazy.
A Little Bit of Everything
Do they actually count as bumper stickers if they're not technically on the bumper? Something tells me this person wouldn't appreciate the question.
Maybe this guy is a bumper sticker collector, but whatever the story is, this car is a major eyesore.
While we don't have all the information, we're sure that there's a very interesting story behind this bumper sticker. And probably a very angry ex-wife as well.
A broken family is a sad thing, but this bumper sticker almost makes it funny. Almost.
Much to Drive, You Still Have
We'll admit it--this was one pun that went over our heads until we sat there and thought about it for a minute. We weren't expecting a Toyota-Star Wars crossover.
If Toyota was smart, they'd start releasing Yoda-themed cars themselves. It sounds ridiculous, but you know they'd sell like crazy.
An Immortal Bumper Sticker
We can't believe how many jokes people are able to make with their car brand names, but here's yet another entry in this hilarious bumper sticker genre.
Even though people might not give Highlander much thought these days, this is still a solid joke--and an awful vehicle!
"No airbags. We die like real men."
Okay, well that's great, but I'm going to use airbags and live like a real woman.
There's nothing wrong with being tough, but no airbags just takes things to a ridiculous level, even for real men.
An Unsuccessful Venture
"Sucess is a state of mind."
Success may be a state of mind, but the English language most definitely isn't. Let's hope these people weren't driving to a spelling bee.
This might be an embarrassing self own, but it could be worse--they could have gotten this spelling error tattooed on them!
With Great Minivan Comes Great Responsibility
"Condoms prevent minivans."
Truer words have ne'er been spoken! These drivers are brave truth tellers.
If these people are like most minivan owners, they learned this lesson through personal experience. We don't know what it is about kids, but when they show up, a minivan always appears eventually.
"My driving scares me too."
So this is definitely someone you want to keep a healthy distance from on the road. When people show you who they are, pay attention!
At least this self-proclaimed bad driver has enough awareness to realize their own shortcomings. Too bad they couldn't realize those shortcomings in the passenger seat!
Someone Missed the Rest Stop
"Please stay back. I may have pooped myself."
Honestly, it's a free country. If you want to poop in the car, be my guest. However, the world doesn't need to know about it.
While you might not be in danger of their poop from the safety of your own car, I'd still take their advice and stay back--they're clearly not all there.
Asking the Important Questions
"How am I driving? How does an engine even work? How can a loving god cause so much agony?"
This is a bumper sticker with not only one but two major plot twists. Seriously--what is going on here?
If someone feels like they need this on their car, they might want to consider an engineering class...and a seminary.
I Think Therefore I Honk
"Honk if you don't exist."
I'm no professional philosopher, but it seems like this bumper sticker might be a little paradoxical. How am I supposed to honk if I don't exist?
More importantly, who is driving the car if I don't exist? This is all just too much to ponder while you're behind the wheel.
You Can't Teach an Old Chicken New Tricks
"My pet makes me breakfast."
Until I see a chicken scrambling eggs at the oven, I'm not buying this claim. Just laying eggs does not equal "making breakfast".
And I don't think those chickens realize just how much potential danger they're in! One day you're "making" breakfast, and the next day you ARE breakfast!
Bumper Sticker Truth Bomb
"My mind was changed by a bumper sticker--said no one ever."
Sometimes the truth hurts, but this is one bumper sticker that's not afraid to tell it like it is. We all know deep down that no one is half as interested in our bumper stickers as we are.
That being said, it seems a little odd that this person would take to this medium to spread his message. If we follow his logic, this bumper sticker won't convince anyone that bumper stickers are worthless...since it's on a bumper sticker!
This Bumper Sticker Doesn't Add Up
Alcohol and calculus don't mix--don't drink and derive."
I know just enough to realize that this is a math joke, but not enough to explain exactly why it's funny. And I'm sure most people are in the same boat as well.
For the calculus fanatics out there, this must be the bumper sticker of the cenutry. But for the rest of us, we'll just have to take your word that it's a solid math joke.
Baby Not on Board
"Adults on board. We want to live too."
For too long, babies have gotten preferential treatment when it comes to being on board. But no more--the grownups are speaking up and fighting back.
It does seem a little ridiculous that someone would only drive carefully if there was a baby in the vicinity. If you just pretend like every car has a baby on board, maybe we'd all be a little safer on the road.
Thanks for the Offer
"No baby on board. Feel free to drive into me."
Some people want to make it to their destination in one piece. But it's clear that not everyone shares that opinion.
It's nice that this driver was polite enough to extend this invitation to others on the road, but we really hope that no one has ever taken them up on their offer.
No Need to Apologize
"Sorry for driving so close in front of you."
This driver is either polite to a fault or having a little fun with the people riding their bumper. Hopefully no one actually thinks this way.
I wonder if this would hold up in court? Could you rear end someone and then claim this bumper sticker indicates they were taking responsibility? I think I'll leave that theory for someone else to test.
Stick Figure Massacre
"Nobody cares about your stick figure family."
I mean, on the one hand, this bumper sticker is 100% true. Those bumper sticker families are more for the driver than anyone else--why should strangers on the road care how many kids you have?
However, there's one thing extremely odd about this one. What in the world do zombies have to do with any of this?
We've Got a Tough Guy Over Here
"Warning: This Vehicle is Protected by a Man with a Sword"
While this driver probably thought they were being tough and intimidating, this bumper sticker is acutally just unintentionally hilarious.
Unless you've got a samurai keeping watch over your car 24/7, this funny warning is probably not going to deter anyone. If anything, it might just make them more inclined to try to mess with your car.
At Least They're Honest
"I hear you honking. I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing."
This quote from comedian John Mulaney is perfect fodder for a bumper sticker. And kudos to whoever did this.
However, even if you've never heard of John Mulaney before, this still is a hilarious bumper sticker. It's the perfect gift for the terrible driver with a sense of humor in your life.
Brutal Bumper Sticker
"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
This is another harsh but true bumper sticker. We're not sure what spurred this outburst, but this driver clearly has to deal with the obnoxiously misunderstood on a regular basis.
But really, how many minds is this rude bumper sticker going to change? It seems more likely to make people want to slash your tires as opposed to change their ways.
"It takes a Viking to raze a village."
Isn't wordplay fun? And it's even more entertaining when accompanied by brutal, widespread violence.
This driver clearly has some Viking pride, but I would hate to see what a Viking with road rage looks like!
Your Wish is My Command
"Visualize Grilled Cheese"
We're not sure what in the world is going on with this bumper sticker, but when it comes to thinking about grilled cheese, we're happy to oblige.
But for real--what in the world is going on with this bumper sticker? Is this driver being paid by Big Grilled Cheese to advertise their product?
Coexist bumper stickers have been preaching religious tolerance for decades now. But we've never seen one quite like this variation.
But come on, let's get real. Peace between warring religions may be possible in the world, but gamers are a different story. You're never going to get them to agree about anything.